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Just finished practicing viola. It'd been a while since I've practiced to be honest. I felt it wasn't coming at first but at about the 1hr mark I started to warm up and regain some confidence. Hopefully I'll be close to speed for the rehearsal next Monday night.
So this journal is supposed to be about how I feel (because I say so). Lately I think destitution is the only work in my vocabulary that accurately describes things. It's not a highly depressive or unstable state, infact it's quite consistant and not bi-polar at all. I've got to leave this town and get on with greater things. It's becoming a mantric phrase of mine lately. Here's hoping it'll get me through life?
I feel dumb and even unattractive as all the people I used to know are far away living new lives now. Irrational feelings to be sure. I'm gonna try my best to stay positive and productive until xmas break. It's really not that far away. Then I'll be just under half done!
Musing on futures. Last night I looked at some back-up CD-R's I'd from about 2-3 years ago with my old artwork. I have to say I wasn't bad but goddam was my work ethic poor. I'd get bright ideas and complete about 10% of them and get bored/distracted. I really hope I'm getting more disciplined in my old age, I really do. Oh, and old pictures. I used to have like really shaggy hair and just hair on my chin, I can now understand why people often used to say I looked like a fat Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Not to mention being named "Brodie" and looking like a iconistic cartoon character known for acting seemingly stoned. It's funny looking back on it now, I really didn't understand how I could seem at all architypial! Now I'm a good 50% wannabe bear clone so worrying about individuality is a mere memory. Thank god for conformism!
Tomorrow, amongst other things, I'm gonna get a hold of a photo ID so I can get a discounted YMCA membership. I can extend my commute home by stopping off downtown at my transfer point and getting in a good work out. They also have a youth employement centre there that I'll be checking out.
Unrelated note: I'm positive I saw![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lfkbear commenting on publicity stunts in pop music today on TV. Neat! He's like OMG all cute and like stuff *twirls phone receiver cord on index finger*. I'll have to mark another notch on my semi-brushes with micro-celebrity chart. Which includes waving at Jonathan Torrens and having him wave back, staring at Martin Short scoring a quick Americano in his home neighbourhood of Westdale decked head-to-toe in a leather suit number in the heat of August and Bill Welychka showing up to my former Step-dad's birthday party. He was a friend of my cousin who worked with him at Much Music. That's right, I benefit from the cool vibes that radiate from these people like some sort zebra mussel parasite sycophant evil bitch whore slut!
Me, an observer of the cult of celebrity? Of course, but I'll often deny it in vain. Did I mention that my stage name is "zebra mussel parasite sycophant evil bitch whore slut"?
It is.
So this journal is supposed to be about how I feel (because I say so). Lately I think destitution is the only work in my vocabulary that accurately describes things. It's not a highly depressive or unstable state, infact it's quite consistant and not bi-polar at all. I've got to leave this town and get on with greater things. It's becoming a mantric phrase of mine lately. Here's hoping it'll get me through life?
I feel dumb and even unattractive as all the people I used to know are far away living new lives now. Irrational feelings to be sure. I'm gonna try my best to stay positive and productive until xmas break. It's really not that far away. Then I'll be just under half done!
Musing on futures. Last night I looked at some back-up CD-R's I'd from about 2-3 years ago with my old artwork. I have to say I wasn't bad but goddam was my work ethic poor. I'd get bright ideas and complete about 10% of them and get bored/distracted. I really hope I'm getting more disciplined in my old age, I really do. Oh, and old pictures. I used to have like really shaggy hair and just hair on my chin, I can now understand why people often used to say I looked like a fat Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Not to mention being named "Brodie" and looking like a iconistic cartoon character known for acting seemingly stoned. It's funny looking back on it now, I really didn't understand how I could seem at all architypial! Now I'm a good 50% wannabe bear clone so worrying about individuality is a mere memory. Thank god for conformism!
Tomorrow, amongst other things, I'm gonna get a hold of a photo ID so I can get a discounted YMCA membership. I can extend my commute home by stopping off downtown at my transfer point and getting in a good work out. They also have a youth employement centre there that I'll be checking out.
Unrelated note: I'm positive I saw
lfkbear commenting on publicity stunts in pop music today on TV. Neat! He's like OMG all cute and like stuff *twirls phone receiver cord on index finger*. I'll have to mark another notch on my semi-brushes with micro-celebrity chart. Which includes waving at Jonathan Torrens and having him wave back, staring at Martin Short scoring a quick Americano in his home neighbourhood of Westdale decked head-to-toe in a leather suit number in the heat of August and Bill Welychka showing up to my former Step-dad's birthday party. He was a friend of my cousin who worked with him at Much Music. That's right, I benefit from the cool vibes that radiate from these people like some sort zebra mussel parasite sycophant evil bitch whore slut! Me, an observer of the cult of celebrity? Of course, but I'll often deny it in vain. Did I mention that my stage name is "zebra mussel parasite sycophant evil bitch whore slut"?
It is.
