(no subject)

[nfotxn]

Is it a good idea to infer character from actions people perform? That is to weigh the way people treat you greater than what they say to your face. I've done it in the past and it's definitely cost me some potential friends. Albeit potential friends of dubious moral fiber.

I don't feel as if I'm lost anything (other than an expensive watch) but I do feel that I may have been too judgemental.

I'll just stay acquainted, nothing more. A symbolic gesture to the concept of community like my subscription to the BML.

Comments

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

First of all, let me say that I have no idea of any specific incident you might be talking about, so no one think that I'm taking sides in something.

But by-all-that-is-good-and-holy yes. You can't judge someone by what they say, only by what they do. Words are too easy. It's easy for a person to sound completely sincere when they're saying something, because they probably are sincere at that particular moment. But that doesn't mean they'll do what's right at the moment it counts. "Talk is cheap", as they say.

I'm surprised you even have to ask. I would have thought you've had enough experience with people who say one thing but do another (*cough*daddy issues*cough*).

[stingray1975.livejournal.com]

imho, speaking and thinking are actions, and thus warrant equal treatment along with other physical actions that may appear "more real". is your beef (or TVP... hehehe) more about people say/do "to your face" vs. "behind your back", i.e. about consistency, honesty & trust?

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

>imho, speaking and thinking are actions, and thus warrant equal treatment along with other physical actions that may appear "more real".

Okay, from that point of view, speaking is an action, but it's an action which isn't very difficult, and hence does not warrant equal treatment when judging someone.

Everyone talks about dieting, but very few do.

Everyone says they would have stood up to Hitler, but very few would have.

I think you have to weigh someone's actions by how difficult the actions were. That's why hospitality means more coming from a poor person, for example.

And good intentions really don't count for a thing when it comes down to it. Intentions are easy. Way too easy.

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

Oh, and "TVP". Heh. I like that. I'm going to use that.

Why say it myself when Mr Newman can say it better

[plaidninja.livejournal.com]

I remember reading something pretty smart in MAD magazine, (Yep that's where I get all my golden material) when I was 10:

Overated: Personality
Underated: Character

[stingray1975.livejournal.com]

...speaking is an action, but it's an action which isn't very difficult, and hence does not warrant equal treatment when judging someone.

i think it's contextual... nothing inherently privileges the physical over the verbal. for example, from my experience, sometimes acting like things are o.k. (after you get into a fight or hurt someone) is much easier than apologizing & meaning it. i can think of other examples too.

when i deal with my own relationships (including family, friends, romance), i read both people's words & actions. in life, actions never always override words, or vice versa! imho, it is much more complex than that!