It is not good that I am still awake.

[nfotxn]

So I guess I should talk about the party. I know I really stress over it, it was sorta an event in my life right now. I still had fun but it was by no means a nonchalant time for me. I hope all my guests enjoyed it.

I dunno, I'm not in a good head-space right now. « pause 30mins while I think » There's just such a high level of uncertainty in and about every I do lately. Between my odd family situation, broken academic career and potential love life I feel at a loss as to course of action. IMC will be an interesting attitude adjuster. It's what convinced me to come out to my mom in Sept of last year. I figure just doing anything at all will be well enough.

I never used to be a slacker.

So yeah, I'm a little stressed out right now. I want a sense of accomplishment again. I want to start now.

Comments

[brucelloyd.livejournal.com]

How old are you? 19? Please.. you're a child.

Who's family situation isn't odd? If your academic career is broken, get a new one. Or fix it. If you love life sucks, then change it.

Why does every teenage boy and girl believe the current life expectancy is 30?

Ten years from now you'll be asking yourself what the fuck was up your ass and making you miserable.

Pot, may I introduce the kettle?

[mathan.livejournal.com]

Someone here doesn't have a bitter cock attitude, do they now? For somebody who seems to be perpetually steeped in angst, Bruce you sure are quick to tell people to get over themselves. It's 10 years on and you still haven't discovered what is up your own ass, and you're still miserable.

Saying get over it is much easier said than done. Look at the problems in your own life.

Hey, everyone lives life differently. I came out at 21 and all of a sudden, this new life opened up ahead of me. And to be honest it was a huge step forward.

Lets see... coming out turned my life upside down. It really did. I could go out, get laid, and get a boyfriend. And know what? It became my focus and I nearly flunked out of fourth year of university. For what? Sex and a boyfriend? Believe it or not, yup. It was almost like someone saying, "I'm going to move my whole life so I can concentrate on being just with you, and life will be a beautiful rose garden." It controls you and consumes you.

Coming out is very much like going through the teenaged years all over again. NFOTX, Brodie, may stil be a teenager, but most straight teenagers, and even some gay ones, have been able to go through what I call the "teenage madness" by the time they are 19. Teenage madness refers to the silly games that seem all too real and important when you're a teenager. While I never went through that as a teenager, I still have not forgotten what some of my friends went through. And I still have not forgotten what I went through in my early 20s.

When gay people come out, whether it's in their teens, 20s, or even their 50s, there is a certain period that these people go through that emulates the teenaged years. Your world becomes a candy store. Something I don't think Bruce has ever completely gone through.

Coming out introduces ALL kinds of new variables into people's lives, and what Brodie is going through is what many of us have gone through before.


The great thing is, Brodie has realized that things are up and that he has to do something about it. I don't know if Brodie knows what he wants to do in life, but I think he's on track to really thinking about it. That is the first step. As long as he keeps on going, I think he'll do fine.

Re: Pot, may I introduce the kettle?

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Christ, you got it all right. I remember my straight friends having their mad teenage years when I was in the closet. I of course would think "Good thing I'm not like that! I'd never want to be caught dead with such a single-track mind!".

And yet, here I am. But I feel as if I'm starting to gain control again. I was a sane, developed and stable person before I embraced my sexuality. But who knows, the course may not be run yet.

Thanks a lot for those words, it was very re-assuring and kind.

Re: Pot, may I introduce the kettle?

[mathan.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we need to go through these little hiccups to get to where we're supposed to be.

I must say though that getting a post secondary education is extremely important these days (whether it's a college diploma or university degree). Sure you can get by, but why just get by when you can make things easier for yourself with some hard work? *GRIN* :o)

[joeycubusa.livejournal.com]

The party was the party and its since been over and done with. I am sure it went off without a hitch.

The thing to remember is to slow down and take it one thing at a time. Don't over fill your plate. Certain things you have little control over and well...they are what they are. I think that you think you need to be somewhere in your life where you aren't yet and thats frustrating you. You're where you are for a reason right now...When the situation is supposed to change it will...Little by little things have a way of falling into place. You can't force it.

Just stop and take a few deep breaths and tackle one thing at a time...and remember your friends love yas and are there for you if you need to talk....

[dancubca.livejournal.com]

I want a sense of accomplishment again. I want to start now.

You already are accomplished, so all you have to do is KEEP MOVIN'!

[bingobear25.livejournal.com]

definitely... trying to keep moving is the hardest part :-p

Hi Dan!!!

[plaidninja.livejournal.com]

The party was fine.
relax dude.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

*hyperventilating.. slowly calms down*

Yeah, it went off well in retrospect. When hosting I tend to get rather maternal and stress out. But it's all good.

Heck, we even shaved chris's head.