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The downtime's a killer: part 3
Jan. 23rd, 2002 01:41 pmI am not in a good mood today.
I've been having terrible dreams about going back to school. I'm at my elementary school and I get in trouble for questioning the teacher. I get sent to the principal's office and then my back molars fall out. That would be three nights in a row now.
I'm really stressed out about going back to school, I mean christ I'm almost 20 years old now. I'm gonna try to chill out and just get on with it, but there's a lot in the air about this. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't tons of pressure from family, friends and myself. This is attempt #3 now, seriously. I mean, stuff was messed up then and I got help and sorted myself out. I just hope this time won't be like the others, for a lot of reasons that are really even too personal to write here. Just the sorta stuff you discuss with your shrink, stuff I'm pretty sure I'm over.
I guess, in the end, what I want to do is leave this period of myself without regrets. To convince myself that this extra time was necessary. But I'm having a hard time doing that, at least right now. Maybe in five years it'll be different. Time will tell.
I've been having terrible dreams about going back to school. I'm at my elementary school and I get in trouble for questioning the teacher. I get sent to the principal's office and then my back molars fall out. That would be three nights in a row now.
I'm really stressed out about going back to school, I mean christ I'm almost 20 years old now. I'm gonna try to chill out and just get on with it, but there's a lot in the air about this. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't tons of pressure from family, friends and myself. This is attempt #3 now, seriously. I mean, stuff was messed up then and I got help and sorted myself out. I just hope this time won't be like the others, for a lot of reasons that are really even too personal to write here. Just the sorta stuff you discuss with your shrink, stuff I'm pretty sure I'm over.
I guess, in the end, what I want to do is leave this period of myself without regrets. To convince myself that this extra time was necessary. But I'm having a hard time doing that, at least right now. Maybe in five years it'll be different. Time will tell.
