Baby toes

My poor baby toes, today in the shower I was looking at them. I neglect them so much, I'm suprised they haven't fallen off as I know I probably wouldn't notice.

Then I thought about how much I want a nice, long and hot fuck, baby toes ignored once again.

Laundry list of insecurity

You ever got accused that "your friends only put up with you because they want to fuck you"?

I have, and it upsets me a lot. So now my official response is "My friends understand fully that sex with me isn't worth that kinda effort".

Next item.

I'll be the first to admit that outside of those hot make-out momments I'm no technical prodigy in bed and worst of all I feel like I'm performing a lot of the time trying to live up to some porn star ideal that I'm just so obviously not. I equate the feeling to being somewhat akin to performing a concerto that you've never seen before. About 15 minutes of pure terror. I have to be connected to somebody to really enjoy myself, I tried to deny that and cover it up with booze. Doens't work.

As much as I love lots of sex with lots of people I always seem to be at odds with the scene where I get it. Why do I want that confusion in my life? I don't. Not that I'm making any resolutions here, realization really. Could I be a one man, man? Probably, I'm sure I have or can develop the maturity to love one personal above all others despite my throbbing carnal desires. Tricks are fun, they're a real thrill usually but when I open myself up I find that I really like what I get. And I want more, and with tricks you can't really do that. Why do we do this to ourselves?

ps. Sorry I updated this post so many times, I got on a roll. Hopefully all your comments will still have context.

(no subject)

'nother thing I gotta do is stop showing animosity towards people I wanna do. It's counter productive and unbecoming of a lady.