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Crying With Friends And Family
Aug. 14th, 2005 05:05 amOh my precious Livejournal blog buddies. It's been a trip lately. I've been through a lot of shit this summer, most of which I don't feel much like blogging about. Some real heights of emotional upset. It's been a bummer of a summer, all things said. But things appear to be going my way and it looks to be an interesting Fall. As in the season.
What I realized this summer is that I need serviceable friendships in my life. I know lots of people outside of Coffee Distance, which is great. But when it came time that I needed some real human emotional support it was apparent that I was, aside from a few important friends, rather alone in that respect.
I didn't have any friends that I felt comfortable crying on the shoulders of. Well I mean I found out I do but it took some doing. You see basically I am an emotional douche bag who masquerades as a low-maintence manly man. And I have this nasty habit of blaming external forces for the things that go wrong in my own life. A good example is the vitriolic prose I sometimes spew into this very journal. It's not that I actually care about these topics much particularly. But it's that idea over asserting control over one concept that gives me a false sense of direction.
And I'm not apologizing for what I write either. Or particularly care what others have to say, it's all internets and entertainment. Not very serious at all. I will, however, be taking better control over my life and my well being as to provide a kinder gentler person to deal with.
What I realized this summer is that I need serviceable friendships in my life. I know lots of people outside of Coffee Distance, which is great. But when it came time that I needed some real human emotional support it was apparent that I was, aside from a few important friends, rather alone in that respect.
I didn't have any friends that I felt comfortable crying on the shoulders of. Well I mean I found out I do but it took some doing. You see basically I am an emotional douche bag who masquerades as a low-maintence manly man. And I have this nasty habit of blaming external forces for the things that go wrong in my own life. A good example is the vitriolic prose I sometimes spew into this very journal. It's not that I actually care about these topics much particularly. But it's that idea over asserting control over one concept that gives me a false sense of direction.
And I'm not apologizing for what I write either. Or particularly care what others have to say, it's all internets and entertainment. Not very serious at all. I will, however, be taking better control over my life and my well being as to provide a kinder gentler person to deal with.
