Crying With Friends And Family
Aug. 14th, 2005 05:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nfotxnOh my precious Livejournal blog buddies. It's been a trip lately. I've been through a lot of shit this summer, most of which I don't feel much like blogging about. Some real heights of emotional upset. It's been a bummer of a summer, all things said. But things appear to be going my way and it looks to be an interesting Fall. As in the season.
What I realized this summer is that I need serviceable friendships in my life. I know lots of people outside of Coffee Distance, which is great. But when it came time that I needed some real human emotional support it was apparent that I was, aside from a few important friends, rather alone in that respect.
I didn't have any friends that I felt comfortable crying on the shoulders of. Well I mean I found out I do but it took some doing. You see basically I am an emotional douche bag who masquerades as a low-maintence manly man. And I have this nasty habit of blaming external forces for the things that go wrong in my own life. A good example is the vitriolic prose I sometimes spew into this very journal. It's not that I actually care about these topics much particularly. But it's that idea over asserting control over one concept that gives me a false sense of direction.
And I'm not apologizing for what I write either. Or particularly care what others have to say, it's all internets and entertainment. Not very serious at all. I will, however, be taking better control over my life and my well being as to provide a kinder gentler person to deal with.
What I realized this summer is that I need serviceable friendships in my life. I know lots of people outside of Coffee Distance, which is great. But when it came time that I needed some real human emotional support it was apparent that I was, aside from a few important friends, rather alone in that respect.
I didn't have any friends that I felt comfortable crying on the shoulders of. Well I mean I found out I do but it took some doing. You see basically I am an emotional douche bag who masquerades as a low-maintence manly man. And I have this nasty habit of blaming external forces for the things that go wrong in my own life. A good example is the vitriolic prose I sometimes spew into this very journal. It's not that I actually care about these topics much particularly. But it's that idea over asserting control over one concept that gives me a false sense of direction.
And I'm not apologizing for what I write either. Or particularly care what others have to say, it's all internets and entertainment. Not very serious at all. I will, however, be taking better control over my life and my well being as to provide a kinder gentler person to deal with.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-14 02:12 pm (UTC)Despite this, I do think I know what you are talking about to a certain degree. There is a huge difference between acquaintance, efriend and friend. The folks we encounter in this world of make believe are great, for the most part, however, real live, face to face interaction really is necessary for us pack animals. Expressions and body language are important, vocal tone and eye contact speak as much as spoken words. Without this sort of thing these econnections leave the experience of interacting a bit hollow.
where was I going with this diatribe?
no subject
Date: 2005-08-14 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-15 04:16 am (UTC)Packaging ain't everything. People love the creamy filling, not the cellophane wrapper.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-15 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-15 01:17 pm (UTC)