Space and permanent hat

[nfotxn]

I'm looking forward to when Aaron gets to work, Grandad goes home and Dad goes off to Welland to do his certifcation with Transport Canada. That would be next monday. I need my space again, I've almost become acustom to not having it for a while. But I want to be able to turn up the mix, experiement with blaring guitar tones and generally make a racket again. It's been too long stepping on egg shells and stuck in the inaccurate world of headphones. I know I'm losing my edge, I was starting to get good about a month ago.

Paul, can you make some time for me this weekend? I wanna check my HDD in your boxen to see if it's fried or not. I'm really hoping not, I have lots of stuff on there that's not backed up :(

In other news I shaved my head. It seems to be something I do around this time of year. Not for the esthetic really, but that my psirosis gets really bad in the dry winter weather and removing my hair exposes it to UV rays that help my skin. Also it makes appling my meds much easier. I'm getting deja vu here, I'm sure I've been over this territory around the same time last year. It's also a ritual thing which I suppose implies devotion a right now I'm very devoted to getting on with things.

Only three days of idle time really left. Then it's on the ball and off to the races. I may sound like a broken record, but the concept of being out of here in less than a year really excites me. I also feel experienced enough being around my friends who've already made this leap to learn from their mistakes. To spend money wisely, stay away from drugs and work really hard. I know it's all talk right now, but I think if I can keep my conviction I'll do well.

I want success, I want it so bad I can taste it's cherry mentholyptis syrup centre. Oh, that's just the loszenge in my mouth. *drum break*

Comments

[tootired.livejournal.com]

I seriously hope you don't really mean that you can't wait until you have this whole place to yourself again so that you can sit around, do nothing, and not be bothered. Because not paying any rent that really is a luxury you have absolutely no entittlement to.

I can't wait untill Dad leaves either :) He actually get's out of here this weekend!

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Naw, I've been doing that far too long. I think I actually appreciate it at this point, there's been several times this year that I've seen what it's like without the safety net of "Mom & Dad's House". It's pretty fuckin' plush here, but it's also not mine and sorta killing Mom to keep this situation going on. We've always got food, a place to sleep, medication and medical attention when I need it, clothing provided for me and countless ammenities.

But I understand that this isn't perpetual and I don't want it to be. There's nothing I want more than to get away now, you might of noticed by the trips to visit friends in Toronto. Which has been just a placebo.

Hey, how 'bout I come downstairs and talk about this ;)? This is kinda weird.

[zer0ith.livejournal.com]

sure. give me a call saturday. im off work...... *prays he doesnt get a phone call to come in*