(no subject)

[nfotxn]

You're all aware that under this masculine guise of body hair there's a flaming club qween that just wants to dance, right?

Just getting that out in the open.

I'm reading the GXB-TO mailing list and getting furiously disappointed with the banter. Guys with oppinion that are just so.. "I just came out".. which I suppose is to be expected. But honestly, do you really "like the guys who don't dance and just hang by the bar looking butch"? Translation "I'm into guys without any sort of self-confidence at all as I have none myself".

Or ragging on smaller cities about how terrible the public transit is just 'cause it doesn't support a hedonist's lifestyle. Newsflash: just 'cause you can't get across the city at 3am after you shot your load all over some anonymous faggot's face doesn't mean the public transit system stinks. Ride it at rush hour, ya know when working people who keep it paid for use it, and see how it works. Most cities do just fine.

There's also the misconception that if you're gay you can only have fun at queer bars. Yeah, maybe 20 years ago but it's the motherfuckin' 21^st century. You can go anywhere, you're allowed to. Can we make it any more obvious that we're in the club not to "socialize" but to get laid? No? Here's a t-shirt that says "I'm slut. Do me". Wear that.

I do believe I am too misanthropic to relate to my generation. Not a good thing, not a bad thing.

Comments

[bigrock.livejournal.com]

I am turned off by people with poor self esteem. I truly believe that if you aren't comfortable with yourself, how can you be comfortable with someone else (especially in a relationship). If I tell someone they are cute, it is because I think they are cute. Don't say "no, i'm not, who would ever want me?". That is a big turn off. Just smile and say thanks to the compliment.

Oh... Brodie, you're cute :)

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Exactly, it's good insight past the emotional front everyone puts up. Not everyone is into dancing, and that's cool. But to be vehemently opposed to it, total issues flag.

PS: Thank you, you're hot Terry!

[plaidninja.livejournal.com]

If only the Gx-BearsTO list had an auto mute mode.
I've been bulk erasing the stuff I get off that list lately.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Go to the yahoo groups gxb-to page and click "edit my membership" then set delivery mode to "special notices only" so you'll only get messages from Brian. That's what I'm doing now.

[five0xpres.livejournal.com]

guys who don't dance and just hang by the bar looking butch

I do this all the time, I have a much better time watching the interactions going on around me than actually being an active participant in the rampant craziness that is a bar atmosphere.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

But if you wanted to dance, would you?

[five0xpres.livejournal.com]

As Genesis says, "I don't dance"






atleast not in public places, that is.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

You should. It makes everyone infinitely more sexy and whitens your teeth.

[five0xpres.livejournal.com]

I hardly think that my dancing would do anything more than make you wonder what you could do you put me out of my misery.

Ever see Elaine dance on Seinfield? Not that bad, but it'd be a close contest.

That being said, now you know why I prefer to sit back and be an observer, not an obseveree.

[haenck.livejournal.com]

The term "self-esteem" is a big pile of parrot droppings. Can we find a new term?

I suppose there is a concept there that is worthwhile, but it has been twisted and bent beyond all usefulness.

It's a pejorative or a badge or a crutch or a cause or an excuse...

I have been accused of having low-self esteem and having high-self esteem. Mostly, I see the term bantered about as an excuse for rude, obnoxious, anti-social behavior.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Depends on it's application. But I agree that it's a highly abused term, especially by feel good educational pseudo-professionals. I suppose it has more to do with one's cycle of mutable personality type. Intro/extroversion and whatnot, which is a lot a more manageable and healthy manice/depressive cycle. Extroversion being more desireable but at the conscious weight of one's feeling of self-awareness.

Does that make any sense at all? So I suppose I could use those terms, but self-esteem is a good immediate solution, albeit abused as often as "productivity" and "paradigm".

[greggmmc.livejournal.com]

man, i do agree with you about the queer bar thing. hate it when i try to plan something and all my gay friends only can come up with gay bars they want to go to. maybe in other cities its different. but here in dallas that mean .... vanilla muzak with never anything live. and worse, so segregated by types and ages ..... fuck that ......

[polardemonwolf.livejournal.com]

Hey... you could be like me, and take off your shirt at a TWINK bar while dancing. :)

I've scared many a bleached blond smoothshaven boy away :)

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

Or ragging on smaller cities about how terrible the public transit is just 'cause it doesn't support a hedonist's lifestyle. Newsflash: just 'cause you can't get across the city at 3am after you shot your load all over some anonymous faggot's face doesn't mean the public transit system stinks. Ride it at rush hour, ya know when working people who keep it paid for use it, and see how it works. Most cities do just fine.

Puh-leez.

With the exception of the megacity of Toronto, public transit in the GTA pretty much sucks. It has nothing to do with "shooting your load over an anonymous faggot's face," it has to do with NOT waiting 30 minutes for the next bus because you just missed the last one -- or for that matter, having a bus that goes where you want AT ALL. "Hedonist's lifestyle?" *eyeroll*

Riding the bus at rush hour doesn't do you any good if you need to take it late at night.

I'm reading the GXB-TO mailing list and getting furiously disappointed with the banter.

I agree with you about this, though. If the people on the list weren't so obviously semi-literate closeted chaser kiddies, I'd be inclined to actually attend an event. I mean, there's someone who doesn't want to take the subway because he thinks he'll get the flu. What the fuck is up with that?

[etherlad.livejournal.com]

Probably obsessing over all those "flu season" ads they have. Like: "The flu spreads faster in the winter because people are more likely to be in enclosed spaces. Like this bus/subway/whatever." Or "You think it's okay to hold that handrail because the last person was wearing gloves. What if he sneezed on them?" Or whatever.

LIke everyone's a complete buffoon who either purposefully sneezes on every surface or licks it afterwards.

[bigrock.livejournal.com]

I haven't ridden the subway in a while, so I haven't had a chance to lick many poles.

Wait, I think those two things should be separated :)

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

With the exception of the megacity of Toronto, public transit in the GTA pretty much sucks. It has nothing to do with "shooting your load over an anonymous faggot's face," it has to do with NOT waiting 30 minutes for the next bus because you just missed the last one -- or for that matter, having a bus that goes where you want AT ALL. "Hedonist's lifestyle?" *eyeroll*

Ok, so "Hedonist's lifestyle" was a touch over the top. Can ya blame me? I was on a roll. I wasn't clear about the context. You probably read "AJ's" [pseudonym] post about Hamilton sucking in the public transit dept. It's not true, I take it everyday to where I need to be and it works fantastically. No, it's not a multi-million dollar subway system but it's pretty damn good. Sure you have to wait 30mins at non-rush hours, but it's half that at rush hours. Which is good enough a resolution to get where you're going even if you just missed it. Also the centralization of transfer points downtown work well. Connection times are almost always zero.

It's a blue collar city and the public transit is designed to best facilitate those hours. 'Sides, if you need a ride that late you can get a cab no problem, and the fares here are way cheaper.

I dunno about transit in the GTA though, I haven't had the pleasure.

I agree with you about this, though. If the people on the list weren't so obviously semi-literate closeted chaser kiddies, I'd be inclined to actually attend an event. I mean, there's someone who doesn't want to take the subway because he thinks he'll get the flu. What the fuck is up with that?

I agree with Ian's post. Although I'm sure the reasoning is just a red herring arguement with the truth of the matter being that this person is just afraid of going into "the scary gay places".

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

I wasn't clear about the context. You probably read "AJ's" [pseudonym] post about Hamilton sucking in the public transit dept. It's not true, I take it everyday to where I need to be and it works fantastically.

Yes, but can you live without a car? Your household does have a car, right? That's the difference between public transit and GOOD public transit. In Toronto it's possible to live without a car; most of my friends do.

Sure you have to wait 30mins at non-rush hours, but it's half that at rush hours. Which is good enough a resolution to get where you're going even if you just missed it. Also the centralization of transfer points downtown work well. Connection times are almost always zero.

No offense, but 30 minute service (and 15 minutes during rush hour) is just not adequate. For most people 10 minutes of waiting time is enough to discourage them from taking public transit. Is that Hamilton's fault? Yes and no. No because suburban sprawl is too inefficient, costly, and decentralized, and therefore it's too costly to support effective public transit. Yes because it's Hamilton city council (along with other cities in and just outside the GTA, all encouraged by poor provincial policy) has encouraged inefficient sprawling development.

The numbers speak for themselves; in downtown Toronto, the split between number of trips taken in cars vs. public transit approaches 50/50. (Toronto as a whole is at 28%.) In suburbia, it's between 7-9%, depending on which region you look at.

It's a vicious cycle -- people in the burbs use cars because of sprawling development which makes public transit less attractive and more costly, which makes them use their cars more, etc. Compare to Toronto where the car is still king, but to a lesser degree: the bus I take to work has a four-minute headway during rush hours and less than ten minute headway until approximately midnight. From 2AM to 6AM it runs every 30 minutes.

It's a blue collar city and the public transit is designed to best facilitate those hours.

Public transit in Toronto also has more frequent service during rush hours. That argument is really neither here nor there.

'Sides, if you need a ride that late you can get a cab no problem, and the fares here are way cheaper.

True, but taxis are not public transit.

I dunno about transit in the GTA though, I haven't had the pleasure.

Outside of Toronto it's awful. I've had the misfortune of riding Markham Transit, now part of York Region Transit. In Pickering some routes have hourly service. *Hourly*.

[elpay.livejournal.com]

I do believe I am too misanthropic to relate to my generation. Not a good thing, not a bad thing.

Well, you can be critical without being misanthropic, I think. There's a place for everything I guess, but you're right, too many people subscribe to the herd mentality of the young gay man lifestyle. It's easier for them to just settle into an easy "in" of gay culture, rather than expressing an opinion.

I love going to shows, but man, bars in general just fucking annoy me.

[birddog.livejournal.com]

at this mid-twenties earblown stage of my life, I really need a good reason to go out. That even counts towards things I really enjoy, say rock shows.

Having gone to a couple gay bars in my neck of the woods, I can honestly say I had a good time, but part of this good time was "hey, I'm at a gay bar for a change." One could say it was the novelty of it that was interesting. It sounds shitty, but it's not. They are still bars, direct analogues of their straight bar counterparts. Not much to do but stand around and drink and (whether you want to or not) smoke. It's all good, but couldn't I do that at home, to better music?

Gay bars to me will most likely remain a once-in-a-while-oh-why-the-hell-not type option. There's so much other stuff to do.

[abbazabba.livejournal.com]

2 things:

1> I'm too white to dance.

2> I have self esteem/confidence issues. Try growing up as the fat kid in the 80's in yuppieland and see what it does to you.

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

You know, if you keep writing things like that, you're going to make me fall in love with you.

;-)