Kink

[nfotxn]

So now I'm thinking about kink in general. Personally I approach it from the same perspective I approach para-sailing, bungie jumping and extreme white water rafting. If somebody asked me if I'd like to try i'd probably agree with a bit of apprehension. It definitely couldn't really become a major part of my lifestyle unless I found something I really really liked.

Additionally, just like extreme sports, there's a lot of posers in kink. Not a fan of the posers 'cause I am "4-real".

Yeah.

STOP THE PRESS. Wait a sec. I guess I am kinky, I mean I dig big hairy older guys (in moderate degrees of each term). And it is a part of my lifestyle to another moderate degree.

Well well well.

Comments

[scoobycub.livejournal.com]

I think kink is something you grow into. When I first came out I wasn't much for any kind of kink...in fact I thought it kind of weird. Now that I have grown as a person and a queer youth, I have developed some intresting kinks. I enjoy being....well thats not important but I guess not everybody is into kink, but everyone has just a little hint of kink in them somewhere! "discovering your into kink is like becoming a vampire. You never can go back!"

*hugs*

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

"discovering your into kink is like becoming a vampire. You never can go back!"

LOL!

Hey Brodie, you know what I just said about the BDSM/Trek convention thing? I think that line Cory just quoted demonstrates it better than anything I could have said.

Hee hee. "I like BDSM. It's like being a vampire!"

(I'm not being mean. Really I'm not. I can say these things 'cause I'm a convention nerd too.)

Re:

[scoobycub.livejournal.com]

it is funny. I actually quoted it from the show "kink" just like "I like the sound of the whips....they wisper to me"

I didn't take offense...i laughed too.

*hugs*

Re:

[scoobycub.livejournal.com]

heh heh...no prob...I do try!
*hugs*

[ex-braxton253.livejournal.com]

You also get off on being spanked dear, you've got a touch of kink to ya ;)

*ears perk up*

[stingray1975.livejournal.com]

hmmm... i had no idea. *rubs hair on chin mischievously*
thanks for the info! ;oD

Re: *ears perk up*

[ex-braxton253.livejournal.com]

use it wisely ;)

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

Dammit, you've got me thinking now. I think your "extreme sport" comparison might be a good one.

You see, I used to be intrigued by the BDSM thing, and I felt somewhat in awe of people who said they did it. I think I was under the impression that it was dangerous, or required facing dark thoughts, or something like that.

But after looking into it, all I heard was people talking about how they made sure it was safe, and how excited they were by it, and how they'd be horrified if something went wrong. So then I was like, "if it's perfectly safe, then what's the big deal? Is it just a big leather and whip fetish?".

But just now you got me thinking about something. I'm remembering when I volunteered to assist on one of those "confidence-building" camps for teens. They had this thing where you had to jump off a high platform, fall, and let the harness catch you. Even though I knew it was perfectly safe, I remember being paralysed with fear when I first tried to jump off it. (And then I eventually did jump off it, and it was no big deal after that.)

So maybe BDSM isn't just about costumes and a leather fetishes. Maybe it's kinda like jumping off a platform. Perhaps it's scary at first, even though it's perfectly safe. In which case, I guess your extreme sport comparison is a good one, and I might try it just to see if I could. Like sky-diving.

But I'm mostly talking about the S/M stuff here. The being cuffed up thing is a whole 'nother matter. No part of me wants to do that. And I'm not impressed by others who do it, either. It just strikes me as stupid.

There was a Buffy episode not so long ago where Buffy and Spike were lying on the ground, post-coitus. Spike pulls out a pair of handcuffs and says "Do you trust me?". Buffy replies "Never." But then in the next scene, Buffy's rubbing her wrists as if they're sore. As soon as I realised what that meant (and it took me a while), I was like, "Dude, that is the most fucked up thing I've seen on this show yet." She just let herself be cuffed up and rooted by an evil vampire she doesn't trust. I couldn't believe it. And then she had a cool dream sequence about it.

Woo hoo! I'm not even trying to stick to a topic, am I!

Sorry Brodie :-) It's late, and I'm certainly not being concise.

G'night.

[stingray1975.livejournal.com]

bdsm'ers come in all stripes & colours (hence the form & colours of the leather/bdsm pride flag). for some, a serious tickling session can be kinky, whereas for another, it may be "just a big leather and whip fetish". the fact is, like any grouping of sexual practices, there's quite a bit of diversity & it's also a question of identification. for example, some people may not consider spanking kink, whereas in *my* books, it most definitely is.

my *personal* definition of bsdm/kink is very psychological & pivots mostly around the notion of power exchange. *my* practices reflect the common three pillars of many leather/bdsm communities - namely, practices that are "safer, sane & consentual".

which finally ties in to your comment: "The being cuffed up thing is a whole 'nother matter. No part of me wants to do that. And I'm not impressed by others who do it, either. It just strikes me as stupid." quite honestly, i'm rather shocked that you've made such a sweeping statement... *please think context.* for example, in relationships where you know the partner(s) intimately, it's not unreasonable (at least in my opinion) to explore bondage, such as handcuffing. again, that's a *personal* judgement call. it may not be your cup of tea, but neither is gay sex to jerry fallwell. imho, one should be wary of universalized & normative statements. otherwise, one will end up (inadvertently) alienating many people. *hugs*

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

Hey, I notice you list Star Trek in your list of interests. How surprising! ;-)

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

Actually, it wasn't a sweeping statement. It was an "I" statement. I said "it just strikes me as...". (See? I've done the constructive communication courses too.) I don't think what I said was literally any worse than saying, for example, "I find sky-diving stupid".

But new-agey crap aside, I understand that what I said might seem personally offensive since bondage is such a large part of your identity.

But I meant it too. It utterly goes against my instinct to voluntarily relinquish my ability to react to an unforeseen situation. You can call me paranoid if you want, and a lot of people do, but that's just me. That's pretty much the reason why I don't like to get intoxicated either. (Well, part of the reason.)

But don't worry about it. I find lots of things stupid. Like bungee jumping. And Britney Spears. It doesn't affect what I think about you personally.

And in response to your first paragraph: Yeah, I know it's all about identity, fantasy play, and warm fuzzy ideals (like diversity and flags). I've seen it at Trek conventions. :-)

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I was under the impression that it was dangerous, or required facing dark thoughts, or something like that

I think in a way you were right ... I've known people who via kink discovered that they wanted to be castrated, or mutilated, or killed - they almost never talk about it, for obvious reasons. Just being honest with yourself about wanting to control/dominate/be dominated/controlled is "dark" for most people (it's not like they talk about this shit in sex ed in school... wish they had, I had this beautiful Moses-bearded Fundy Xian teacher who blushed every time he had to say "genitals", it was delicious). Conveniently for me most of my kink is just peculiar and not esp dangerous but I believe we are all capable of most anything under the right (?) circumstances.

But after looking into it, all I heard was people talking about how they made sure it was safe, and how excited they were by it, and how they'd be horrified if something went wrong. So then I was like, "if it's perfectly safe, then what's the big deal? Is it just a big leather and whip fetish?"

Maybe those individuals' real kink is exhibitionism?