Life

[nfotxn]

I'd just like to thank everyone for all the cards they sent this Holiday. I received one from Ted (notofthisworld) just today, although I will cut him some slack for being trans-continental and all. Actually, I just appreciate any sentiment at all regardless of timeliness.

Unfortunately I didn't send out my cards.. they're actually in my backpack with the postage paid. I apologise for that, when I went to mail them I noticed I'd missed the last day by two days. I'm a spazz that way, but this'll make things really easy next year.

I'm having the familiar feeling of worthlessness again. That is that I'm not in my space in life that I'd like to be. Wait, hold up! I don't feel bad about it. I don't take it as a necessarily terrible thing, it motivates me not to sit at home masturbating and eating cornchips all day. Much the same way water is liquid above freezing, unstressed I am a sloth. Luckily my sub-conscious synthesizes motivation through good-ol' self-hatred! Ok, so I'm over-stating things here. Hyperbole aside that's pretty much my situation.

One more year. One more year and I finally get to have true independance. All my decisions and their repercssions will be my own to suffer, and what sweet suffering it will be. I want to scrape my rent together by a hair, I want to find out to feed myself on a student's budget while still staying healthy. I want to feel the luxury that is to return to all the ammenities at home just for the weekend.

Life is too easy, I need some more challenges.

Comments

toast!

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

to one more year... :)

[theotherqpc.livejournal.com]

All my decisions and their repercssions will be my own to suffer, and what sweet suffering it will be. I want to scrape my rent together by a hair, I want to find out to feed myself on a student's budget while still staying healthy. I want to feel the luxury that is to return to all the ammenities at home just for the weekend.

i remember for the longest time, i wanted to be homeless...now i just wanna have a not-so-amazing-paying job that actually offers some real, tangible *skills*, like taking a hunk of wood and turning it into an armoire or sending kids off to college to study Political Science or whatever....
<rip off folkyboy>
to not having enough money to live a remotely decadent life!
</rip off>

[the-string.livejournal.com]

Keep you're head up Brodie - you're destined for great things, and these times are just details. I don't know if this helps at all, but I felt much the same way right before I left for school and after almost 4 years of being gone, I long for those times of longing; I'm sure you will too.