Psycho Analysis
Mar. 31st, 2003 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nfotxnI went and saw a specialist today. Dr. John Chong is a doctor who takes an interesting approach to all sorts of injuries in musicians. That trauma and stress manifest physically in things like depression and make you susceptable to all sorts of repetitive stress injuries and Bad Things in general. The neuro-transmittor inhibitors I'm on treat the symptoms but our goal is to deal with the things that caused the damage to begin with. So he psycho analyses me for a while and comes up with things such as abandoment issues surrounding Dad and the absolutely necessity of music in my life. Nothing earth shattering here really.
So I have been prescribed viola lessons and we will be titrating my medication next month. I have a few other short term goals such as returning to school full time, I've been there rather infrequently lately while sorting out the drugs and finding a job. Mostly I need to fill my time with useful things. Anyhow, the first steps in the right direction were taken today. I often doubt my ability to follow through but I have faith I can do it this time.
A big thanks goes out to all my friends who've been there for me, you know who you are. And of course the kindness of near-strangers here on Livejournal. Your combined generosity of support has been tremendous. Not outta the woods yet but I've discovered moths active in night time sleep on the north side of trees during the day. It's true. It has to be, I heard it on the CBC.
So I have been prescribed viola lessons and we will be titrating my medication next month. I have a few other short term goals such as returning to school full time, I've been there rather infrequently lately while sorting out the drugs and finding a job. Mostly I need to fill my time with useful things. Anyhow, the first steps in the right direction were taken today. I often doubt my ability to follow through but I have faith I can do it this time.
A big thanks goes out to all my friends who've been there for me, you know who you are. And of course the kindness of near-strangers here on Livejournal. Your combined generosity of support has been tremendous. Not outta the woods yet but I've discovered moths active in night time sleep on the north side of trees during the day. It's true. It has to be, I heard it on the CBC.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-03-31 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-31 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-31 07:48 pm (UTC)That's given a diagnosis of major depression though. It's different if you're diagnosed with bi-polar syndrome. Or such is my understanding.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 05:56 am (UTC)Antidepressants only helps you in the first phase, and usually never been used alone, then you will stop to take it and continue with the other pills in a longer term treatment.
The thing that usually surprises me is the resistance to be drugged by a doctor, and the curious thing is, only when you stops to fight with the antidrepressants (and the "high" effect) is when it helps you.
If you are bipolar, will help you doing it softer, and maybe, the high state longer.
This was my case, and after tree years of a 4 month treatment I'm still in the higher state.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-01 10:32 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-01 03:46 pm (UTC)it will be good for you if you never change your dose, I mean: no double dose, don't stop suddenly to take it, if you do it you will get a "bad trip" some hours later.
the "drunk" or sleepy effect should dissapear in a week, if not, you should try with another brand of pills, (ask to your therapist about it)
why am I telling you this?
because our therapist should did it.
yay!
Date: 2003-04-01 12:29 am (UTC)*huggles and happy fuzzy things*
- M.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 09:30 am (UTC)Although I can't say I know everything about your situation, I'm glad to see you're on the road to recovery though Brodie. Many people end up forcing their depression on friends, family and lovers without ever examining themselves. It's refreshing to meet someone who is taking responsibility for himself and getting treatment.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 10:49 am (UTC)A job eh? Not that it's anything big, but we are hiring at the theatre in April.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 05:11 pm (UTC)I wish people wouldn't spread this around without providing context. The VAST MAJORITY of people who take antidepressants do not experience emotional blunting.
Comment
Date: 2003-04-10 01:28 pm (UTC)Anyhow...Viola lessons? That's kind of neat..I wonder why Viola in particular..I always wanted Cello lessons, never could afford them..and to be honest with myself would have had difficulty putting in the time needed to get any good, still would have been interesting though. I squeaked through Piano and am now currently degrading guitar.
I can't speak personally about your situation, there have been times where I have felt like I needed to take that step and go see a psychiatrist, 3 years ago was the worst. It might have solved myself a lot of undue difficulties, much of which have nothing to do with the mental health had I done so. I chose a different path, largely fed by my fear that I could have had what was the beginning of my grandmother's illness, and so I didn't want to take the path, she has, or been forced to take, that is...while I was stable enough , to do otherwise. And then there is pride here, though I don't know what it should come from.
What I was going to say was that being medicated is not a natural state of being..its just a better state than the alternative, and even that is not always the case. I see this in my grandmother, who has been on medication so long now that I'm not quite sure what the natural state was. I am certain, in her best moments that it shines through without the medication, and that those moments, are the only true ones in which she feels comfortable and in which we can understand her as a person.
You sound like you know what you're doing. You also sound like you don't have a fear of playing your cards in the open, that you're willing to lean on someone else without any notions that you are giving up, or throwing yourself out of your control. Hell, you're a lot further along than me :-) Good luck, but you're also making luck for yourself, which is the way to go.
Tom
tac_carleton@yahoo.com
Dumb comment
Date: 2003-04-11 07:25 am (UTC)Ok..I'm gone now, take care
Tom