nfotxn | perform, form and performance.

Ever have those momments when the outlook becomes clearer? When the gutter of routine fades away into soft green pastures and shopping malls?

I'm right there right now. Yeah, I know, "Brodie has another epiphone.. how suprising". But hey, a complacent life just isn't my style at all. I enjoy [over]-analysing my life. Maybe that could be interpreted as a pre-disposition to drama.. which is indeed the case. Well, most of the time.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm in a good mood. Just not bubbly as usual.

Last night was strange... good strange. So totally amourous. My eyes flirted at every opportunity and with everyone (maybe some people I shouldn't have). But it means very little, I wasn't in control for the most part. The one tin soldier of inhibbition had a hard job. He did it though.

I'm really still upset about the whole forest thing. I fucked that dude over, which isn't my style at all. And I keep thinking that if I were to have to see him face to face things would have been completely different. I don't want to blame the medium completely (I was a jerk about the job, plain and simple), but that would be my plea to the judge. When it comes down to it I had neither the experience nor the time to devote to running a high-availability web server. I really ought to make him some form of peace offering. I just have no idea what.

I'm starting to think I've embraced too many aspects of my adult life too early. I must be the only highschool student at the box who actually scores.. to be blatant. Now I'm taking the work-load of both rather ardurous tasks. It's not like it's depressing and killing me but I'm only one guy hence-forth twice the work load means twice the time.

So to finish school and get comfortable with life again it's going to take twice the time then to have been doing the later all along. Procrastination truly is the parlance of all time.

Greg aka the inept Plaidninja is a rad guy, he gets mega-props for knowing about Slave Labour Graphics. I bought issue #4 of johnny the homicidal maniac. Jhonen Vasques is one screwed up mofo in a very funny way

"I'm a mummy! I shoot BEES!"
(crystal meth.. wearing off.. personality.. fading...)

That's my favorite line from "I Feel Sick".. another one of his books on SLG.

So.

A progres report.

I know now that I WILL be doing music in post secondary. Hopefully production or composition although performance might not be completely out of the picture. I'm not viola soloist but when I actually practice and get serious about it I can rip-up in a ensemble situation.

Ultimately my goal is likely to do independant production from my decked home studio. That'd be ideal.

My favorite question.Are you waited?. It's the "Are you experienced?" of the to early 21st century. It implies the complacency and luxury my generation has always enjoyed. War has never really been a reality to us.. Dessert Storm is as "real" as Survivor to me. The economy has healthily boomed and busted just about twice in my lifetime. Human rights have been generally pretty good in this country. Sure it's surface-level tolerance for the most part.. there's no real need to understand just to accept for most people.. but I'm happy with that. If somebody who doesn't understand us fags has to come into my life, I'll be happy to teach. To point out the actual simplicity of the situation.

Now that's a ramble.