Conversion

[nfotxn]

I don't like to get too proselytizing but...

Realistically everyone is an asshole. Truly loving somebody is learning to deal with their shit.

Comments

my mom's famous line

[daninca.livejournal.com]

Everyone has baggage, but if you find someone that matches yours then you're in for some great vacations! :)

Re: my mom's famous line

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Hey, I remember that one!

I Prefer Everyone Is Imperfect

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

I think it's more apropos to say no one is perfect, and love is essentially negotiating idiosyncracies.

Re: I Prefer Everyone Is Imperfect

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Perhaps "essentially negotiating idiosyncracies" is more apropos but I think what I said was more succinct.

[werecub.livejournal.com]

I would put it more that everyone is self centered, and that truley loving someone is when you start to actually place someone elses needs equal to your own.

[tcbear.livejournal.com]

Well..being a bit more optimistic than that..I would that loving someone is excepting their issues and quicks along with them, not to their exclusion.

Of course you know, picking someone whose own particular idiosyncracies are going to be even more incompatible with yours is probably just poor judgement.

:-)

[cpratt.livejournal.com]

That's kind of a pessimistic take on things, Brodie. It's a little to est-ian to assume everyone's an asshole - sure, we all have those tendencies, but a large part of loving someone else is trying to help them with their shit, not simply learning how to deal with it. Right?

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

*exhale* Yeah, you're right. The conversation leading up to this conclusion was thoroughly depressing hence the highly pessimistic tone.

[mattycub.livejournal.com]

A quote (anonymous source) that I heard recently:

We like because
We love although

[(Anonymous)]

We all can sometimes be assholes, but some people get away from it brilliantly everyday, Truly loving somebody is forgeting about yourself at 100%

...but it is soooo nice when after all this years I still melt when he looks at me and smiles ! *wink*

:: n33o ::
Montreal

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

True. Oh so true.

It sounds like when...

[gmjambear]

...women declare that "all men are dogs, pigs, etc."
or
...men declare that "all women are bitches, sluts, etc."

(and let's be fair: men saying it about men/women saying it about women, etc.)
And in all cases, it's usually said after a bad break-up or an uncomfortable social situation.

Do I believe that any of this applies to anyone I know?
Some people yes. Others no.

Here's a question to consider...
Do I feel that way about myself?
(Personally, sometimes I can be very unbearable but not 100% of the time...unless someone crosses swords with me!!!)

[ranger1.livejournal.com]

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

Hey- there's always codependence!

definition of "asshole"

[mondragon.livejournal.com]

To me, someone who is an asshole is someone who - with awareness and consciousness of what they're doing - is mean / tries to emotionally hurt someone else, and gets some level of satisfaction or enjoyment out of it.

My lover is not an asshole. I am not an asshole. My friends aren't (for the most part) assholes.

People can make mistakes, can lash out when they're hurting. An asshole will always think that their lashing out is justified. Non-assholes feel terrible about it.

I agree that truly loving someone is learning to deal with their shit, because "shit" has a wide range of possibilities. People can't be loving/considerate/focussing on you all the time. But that doesn't make them assholes, and I could never be in a relationship with someone who was.