(no subject)

[nfotxn]

I miss being a fag. I feel more repressed here than I ever did in Hamilton. There isn't a single bar let alone clubs, cafes or baths like in back home.

I find myself unwilling to make friendships here because of the attitude towards fags. I'm not sure my extended family "knows" here but I haven't told them.

Like hell I'm going back in the closet again, this shit has gotta stop.

Comments

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

Why haven't you told them?

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

I haven't really had the opportunity. I mean maybe you able to say "Hi, I'm David and I suck cock". But people are different here than in Downtown Toronto or in Ontario at all.

I think my family knows but just don't want to say so. Which is disappointing if it's true because they don't want me to be myself. I think they're good people and will be accepting. But I've been getting used to how to cross streets, take transit and use banks here. Proclaiming my sexuality has just recently become a priority.

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

If it's bothering you as much as it seems to be, then maybe it should be a priority.

You don't have to barge into the living room and announce that you suck cock to come out. Do something subtle like a rainbow flag patch on your backpack, or casually bring it up in conversation when the topic comes up.

Them: Did did you on the weekend?
You: Oh, I went to a [insert name of popular gay area]. It was fun.

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

Obviously I meant "What did you do," not "Did did you do."

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

I assumed you were saying "Who did you do".

;-)

[tecknow.livejournal.com]

Slipping it in in casual conversation isn't a bad idea, but if someone is bound and determined to lead a perfectly normal life in which deviance exists only in the media then treating something, anything, new to them like its not a big deal can backfire. The idea that what is normal for them isn't normal for someone else is precisely what they're trying to avoid.

On the up side, the shock and/or confusion usually dulls the initial outburst, and gives them plenty of time to repress.

How is a rainbow flag subtle?

[cub4bear.livejournal.com]

Blah blah blah.

That's all very nice theory, but we don't know Brodie's extended family, so it's all just speculation.

Brodie knows his family, so he can judge best how to come out to them. I just gave him some ideas; it's up to him either to use them or to try something else.

[theotherqpc.livejournal.com]

working from memory, but...

"i just did a show at the only gay bar in Scotland, a place called CC Blooms. CC Blooms is the name of Bette Midler's character in _Beaches_. that is the GAYEST thing i have ever heard in my entire life." - Margaret Cho

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe take a trip down to south England if you get a chance. My old roomate outed himself to me a couple of days ago, and says aside from the fear of death he faces in outing himself to his dad (old army major) he says so far the reactions he's faced have been nothing but positive.

_john

[gusmacroy.livejournal.com]

My talking typewriter, which is sometimes a giant cockroach, told me that being a fag is the perfect cover for your international intrigue activities.

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

A faggy bug exterminator, right?

[gusmacroy.livejournal.com]

You have such fine taste in films.

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

So I keep telling people.

[notofthisworld.livejournal.com]

In British English, "fag" means cigarette.

[plaidninja.livejournal.com]

You need to go to gay, old, London bro.
Your family will ease into it eventually, but you'll have to bring up the subject to start the process.

I agree but

[(Anonymous)]

I find the best way to come out is to never use the word "gay" "homosexual" etc.

You do it as part of the natural flow of a conversation, i.e. when complementing your great aunt Morag on her Game Pie, you could say something like: " I used to date this guy who used to make a good Game Pie, but it tastes nowhere as good as this does, Aunt Morag."

It introduces it into the conversation without an invitation to accept or reject the issue; it does not invite comment on being gay, it is a conversation about Game Pie. It is a tactic that has worked for me many a times.

André Chamberlain

p.s. I hope you are otherwise well and enjoying your trip. Take care and I look forward to seeing you on your return.

[(Anonymous)]

No matter where you are, you will always be yourself. Don't change just to please people, please yourself, be what you are, get out of the closet honey, you don't have to scream that you are gay to everybody. Just be you, you are smart enough.

Somehow I have this Metallica song in mind: Hey, I'm your life / I'm the one who takes you there / I'm your life / I'm the one who cares / They, they betray / I'm your only friend now / They, they betray / I'm forever there / "Sad but true" You are Your best friend and you know what to do better than anybody * wink *

:: n33o ::

[cennetig.livejournal.com]

Why not just do something like point out a cute guy to the person you are talking to? Its a lot easier for me to do that than to create a context to say "Im gay". For example, it might go something like this "Hey, look over there, that Brodie, he's cute."

[welshcub.livejournal.com]

hi Bordie, Scotland is nice, probably similar to Wales so know what you mean about bars and an actual gay scene. I live about 15 miles from Cardiff but the scene there is quite clicky and everyone wants to look like a disco bunny. Facial hair frowned upon but ain't gonna change for them.
From my experience of living in rural UK attitudes towards gay men are really starting to change. Hang with it, hopefully will get better and probably you just havent found any gay places, could look for you xx Shane

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know what you mean. People generally don't give it too much mind. Thanks to all the fags in the media however people are starting to become more mindful. I understand it isn't malicious thing as such. It's more about inexperience.

Thanks lots for the kind words :)