Exploiting Your Kitten for Dates
Jul. 3rd, 2004 12:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nfotxn
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<img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20006%20export.jpg" width="507" alt="Exploiting Your Kitten for Dates 101"><hr width="507" align="left" noshade/>Here's a simple tutorial for hooking gays in with your pussy. At first you may try in colour with your clothes on. Bad move mary. That National Geographic shit doesn't do crap for people unless you're 14 and popping your first boner in the library on lunch break. Turn your digital camera to B&W mode for full appeal and look to the left or at your shoes. Just think of a grunge record cover or Rolling Stone cover from the early 90s. Remember your shirt is off to show your sensual and sensitive side. But for christ's sake KEEP YOUR PANTS ON. I cannot stress the importance of not making kitty porn.
Avoid any sort of typography. It is unnecessary and distracts from the cuteness.
As a prelude to your feline exploitation it is adviseable to be concerned about the composition of your upcomming weblog photo exploitation. If you are a larger person find the most pathetic, rail thin waif of a kitten you can. Likewise smaller people should go for the tiniest of all. A near kitten fetus in some cases. Kittens can never be small enough.
The contrast of size, texture and implied intimacy of B&W is a surefire recipe for one fucking megacore cliché kitty pic that will have all the bleeding hearts coo'ing.
All kidding aside: this is Lucy (aka Lucifer). She is super duper cute and I am so happy to have a kitten around the house again. <br/><lj-cut text="more exploitation!"><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20007%20export.jpg"><br/><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20003%20export.jpg"><br/><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20004%20export.jpg">
Avoid any sort of typography. It is unnecessary and distracts from the cuteness.
As a prelude to your feline exploitation it is adviseable to be concerned about the composition of your upcomming weblog photo exploitation. If you are a larger person find the most pathetic, rail thin waif of a kitten you can. Likewise smaller people should go for the tiniest of all. A near kitten fetus in some cases. Kittens can never be small enough.
The contrast of size, texture and implied intimacy of B&W is a surefire recipe for one fucking megacore cliché kitty pic that will have all the bleeding hearts coo'ing.
All kidding aside: this is Lucy (aka Lucifer). She is super duper cute and I am so happy to have a kitten around the house again. <br/><lj-cut text="more exploitation!"><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20007%20export.jpg"><br/><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20003%20export.jpg"><br/><img src="http://brodie.wolf-spoor.org/img/02-07-2004%20-%20KittenZ!/KittenZ!%20004%20export.jpg">
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Date: 2004-07-02 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-07-02 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-02 10:07 pm (UTC)Devon Ian and I were talking about getting another cat sometime soon. Ian and I would like another kitten, and our reaction to Lucy's pictures only confirm it!!
She's the most adorable little thing ever, congrats on the sweetie kitty!
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Date: 2004-07-02 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-07-03 11:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 01:23 am (UTC)Who's the hot guy?
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Date: 2004-07-03 02:05 am (UTC)Who's the cat?
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Date: 2004-07-03 02:42 am (UTC)*and she doesn't seem to mind being exploited!
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Date: 2004-07-03 05:05 am (UTC)that is SO adorable!!!
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Date: 2004-07-03 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 12:44 pm (UTC)I also hope that when either of you has a boo-boo, that you don't kiss the ACTUAL lesion/scabby sore, but that you kiss beside it. There is no use in making things worse.
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Date: 2004-07-04 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 07:16 am (UTC)Regardless, your opportunities for dates should be endless.
Oh, my...
Date: 2004-07-03 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 07:40 am (UTC)Hmm... You're right... However - nudity and non-declawed kitties.. well.. let's just say it's a bad thing.
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Date: 2004-07-03 11:05 am (UTC)Hmmmm
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Date: 2004-07-04 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 02:03 pm (UTC)I liked the first color picture, very expontaneous. Cats are one of the greatest animals to have around ! Kitty Power ! ...or is it Pussy Power !?