Your Cat Is Dead

[nfotxn]

When some chaser or bear dude (usually) is all "Where did BigSexyBear_WhoNeverPosts go?!" I feel like a parent who needs to explain to their child that their cat is dead.

"Honey, Mittens didn't run away to the circus."

"Mittens is dead and doesn't need you anymore"

Comments

[shawnsyms.livejournal.com]

Aw, Mittens!

[bearringsd.livejournal.com]

This is going to be one of those "facts of life" talks, isn't it?

[themacbear.livejournal.com]

Poor Mittens. Sniff.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I bet you kick puppies and laugh at old women using walkers, too.

[dizzi-d.livejournal.com]

You got it backwards.

It's easier to kick the old women because they don't tend to bite.

Hard.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I generally go for the really young pups who don't have their teeth yet. Wait, that sounded wrong.

[gyvyr.livejournal.com]

Mittens is gone?

*cries*

hold me?

[profundis.livejournal.com]

How dare you care whatever happened to BigSexyBear_WhoNeverPosts (#)!

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

My favorite thing about LJ is the feature where if you die IRL it automatically deletes your journal for you.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

That rocks! I guess that's only for paid members, right?

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

That's right! So don't forget to make those payments, or they'll have to hold a closed casket ceremony because you'll have decomposed beyond all recognition by the time your e-pals find you.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Wah? It's a joke dude. Where we all making the laughing and pat each other on the back, ya know?

[kmon.livejournal.com]

Wait. So you're saying BigSexyBear_WhoNeverPosts (#) didn't get that trapeze gig?!?! But he was so perfect for it, being cute and the BigSexy and all!

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Yeah, except instead of "He's dead and never coming back," the explanation necessary is usually along the lines of, "He has some sand down his crack and is looking to generate some cheap attention."

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Maybe he just needed some space! 'Cause you know, the internet isn't big enough for all us bears and junk.

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Someone needs to put a stop to this internet thing before it gets out of hand.

BTW, I have no idea who's being talked about, so I'm not talking shit about BigSexyBear_WhoNeverPosts (#) in particular. Deleting your LJ is just a very common Drama-generating Technique (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Deleting_your_livejournal).

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Hmm, and here I thought *posting* in your LJ was a very common drama-generating technique. Larn sumpin new evah day, I reckon. ;)

[diesel-pioneer.livejournal.com]

once I've saved up $15, I will definitely change my username to BigSexyBear_WhoNeverPosts

Until then, I shall seek attention.

Hi everyone!


!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iahklu.livejournal.com]

Hi!!!!! :-)

[diesel-pioneer.livejournal.com]

Wow Hi!!!

[callingzero.livejournal.com]

Hey, sometimes they come back.

And what difference does it make who asks? "some chaser" or "bear dude"? Not just "someone" who asks? Do "chasers" ask differently than "bear dudes"?

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Chasers ask in a more unattractive way.

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I'm not a "bear dude."

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Nor am I a chaser.

I think some bears are attractive, but I'm not going to tell them to their faces, because lord knows these bitches don't need larger egos.

WHAT?

[pup-ajax.livejournal.com]

Mittens is dead ??!!!???

OH MY GOD!!!!

[thefatrooster.livejournal.com]

It's ok. Mittens was a slut, and after all the late nights we had, he was getting a little worn out.

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

What's the age of Gay Death for a cat? Three?

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

So wait ... in cat years ... but then if it's a gay cat it's always late for everything ... I think this a polynomial, someone help?

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

Cross-species Fagonometrics is hard work.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

Mittens has actually been placed in the Witness Relocation Program so as to avoid being confronted about the case of crabs that bitch gave everyone.

[username-tk.livejournal.com]

i don't think that guy you're talkin bout needs to chase anybody

[clauditorium.livejournal.com]

"Mittens" is the funniest-ever name for a cat.

[cajuncountry.livejournal.com]

You want to tell him? Or should I?

http://www.livejournal.com/users/daltxfurry/35746.html?mode=reply