Thoughts from Mum's Basement

[nfotxn]

In the art of managing one's own life there is this complex minefield of the ego. Managing how you think of yourself and reflecting that to the people you deal with is a really tough thing to do. On one hand if you're feeling good about yourself and your life it's easy to become pompous and egotistical, while on the other when you're down you tend to clam up and miss opportunities that could other be had.

Speaking of myself, as I am prone to do here, I've been down on my luck for some time. I made some big mistakes with my education and paid for them dearly. However things are starting to look up. Which is to say in detail that I live a pretty blessed life but I also hold myself to high standards. Of course in the larger scheme of things I'm pretty middling. A mildly educated, non-matriculated Canadian generalist with a thing for music, computers and books. Larger still a priviledged citizen of a fully developed G8 nation where I will likely die of complications of gluttony. In this scheme of perspective shifting it's hard to find one that fits. This is an excercise without any definitive outcome.

I can't help but to, as always, keep my eye on the future. It looks like I could be doing things I love to do rather than things I hate for a living. And it leads me to wonder if i will just become complacent. Another upper-middle class faggot changing my bear411 location and jetting off to bear runs the world over. Or a business traveler with my mind on the air miles I can pilfer for my suffering on crowded commuter planes? I suppose this is the status of The American Dream now, as rendered by a Canadian growing up in what is undoubtedly still the most prosperous time in recorded human history.

What I find most interesting these days are the regressive trends of the middle class. The infatuation with farming and more simplistic lifestyles that are "organic" and "sustainable". It's of course a fantasy, we are what we are and even if you sell your penthouse in Manhattan you are still who you have been all your life, yes?

Contemplating joining the ranks of these situations as I climb the income ladder presents a sort of middling incongruity. If I can't imagine myself moving in those directions does it mean that I'm not good enough a person to join the ranks of the urban bourgeois bohemians spending thousands on vegetables, micro-payment charities and nutriceuticals? Or am I ever cut out to be a film producer or art dealer with a fancy rare metal of credit card? It's with trepidation that I approach the possibility of my middle-class years. Aware of the aggregate power of others like me but still so soon to be crushed by the insignificance.

Comments

[djmrswhite.livejournal.com]

look man, i AM my organic vegetables...

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

I mean I suppose we are what we eat. But I'd rather eat the microchips Dave had to remove from the HAL 9000 because I'm a technocrat like that. I mean as neat as organic sustainable farmer with biodynamic diverse crop rotation... what the fuck happened to the motherfucking future?

[meegup.livejournal.com]

selling out died with cobain, no?

and fuck bear runs.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I am certainly not the same man I was in my 20s. Indeed I am still privileged, but less so, and many of my illusions have fallen away, probably with more to go. I no longer own my home, and am terrified of being poor when too old or sick to work. Despite the fear, I am happier.

[danlmarmot.livejournal.com]

The American Dream is to Not Let the Terrorists Win. Everything else must be subjugated to this higher calling. God told me so through his anointed representative on Earth, George W Bush. Don't argue with God dude.

And soon, since War of Terror was defeated in the November elections, we need to watch for other destroyers of the American Dream, like illegal immigrants, gay marriage, abortionists, Democrats, Cylons, and the anti-pharmacuetical forces of evil. And, of course, E. coli.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

As I always I appreciate your input but... did you just use the J-word on me? Because if you can find a single judgmental statement that I wrote that isn't an exaggerated example for picaresque effect... if you can do that I will totally give you $1USD.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

Yeah these are all exaggerations. I know lots of people who could be generalized under these headings. But the fancy cool thing is that most all of them are a lot more detailed than that. It still doesn't mean that those sorts of general behaviors don't exist though. Lord knows I could be judged and generalized in a lot of ways. I think it's important to realize this and look beyond it. But putting a head in the sand and screaming "DON'T JUDGE ME!" at every given opportunity? That's just a defense mechanism.

[pensivegargoyle.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with micropayment charities. However, if I have to listen to someone else talking about their garden I'll scream. It's a good thing to consider what you want for your future - but a bad thing to get consumed by it and not do what you need and want to do today. As in all things, balance.

I was offered a fancy rare metal credit card just yesterday - far too early in the morning. I told them to shove it. My non-metal-related plastic is just fine.

[satarnion.livejournal.com]

Great post. I've felt almost exactly the same for a while now.

Infostructure

[w-adorno.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I can re-read all the Marx, Adorno, Jameson and Chomsky's literature about how all our ideas, beliefs and values are a construction of the evil American hegemony... but I'll always be incredibly jealous of the bears who work for Microsoft and attend bear-runs across the universe.

Their life has such an accepted, untroubled and widely recognized purpose... they never have to question themselves as they found a reality that totally re-assures the simplicity and straightforwardness of their lifestyle. God bless them.

[backrubbear.livejournal.com]

What I find most interesting these days are the regressive trends of the middle class.

"These days"? I find the statement absurd for its lack of historical perspective. :-)

This is nothing new. People yearn for comfort and simplicity. I'd say very few people have illusions about the comfort associated with a more agrarian society. If they do, a week or two living and working on a farm would disabuse them of that.

You should make arrangements to send yourself this post 10 years from now. Avoiding the path of convenience (and comfort) in one's life is usually the only way to avoid becoming the thing you're expressing some mild contempt over.

[pensivegargoyle.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Thorstein Veblen, Theory of the Leisure Class. Exactly what Brodie's talking about.

[backrubbear.livejournal.com]

Particularly interesting from the wikipedia entry:

In other words, what some people define as "wastes of money", others define as "enjoyable luxuries",

See the supporting paragraph.

An element of one's enjoyment of something as a "enjoyable luxury" vs. a "waste of money" seemed to be a form of schadenfreude. Do you do something solely out of the enjoyment of the thing or do you do it because it brings you status or the pleasure taken from others who can not enjoy it because they're deprived of it?

Seeking a level of appropriate comfort is admirable. It's when the level of comfort reaches an extreme that one needs to think about what is being sacrificed to obtain that comfort.

I certainly wouldn't want to be farming Thoreau's beans (Walden) as an example.

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

Seek your own comfort level, and embrace your insignificance.

[mathan.livejournal.com]

Some good ideas there Brodie.

One of the things that I've been thinking is, here I am going through my life, was thinking that I was pretty happy working in corporate Canada and I'm actually not It's not the end all and be all that it is.

The number of times I've said or thought, I'd love to move out of Toronto, to the middle of nowhere and do my own thing, getting by, saying fuck it to others need to fit in to the middle class. I've always been drawn to people who have made it in their own way.

I listen to some of the people at work, look at my manager working all hours... and what for?

[wwabbit.livejournal.com]

Decided in 1984 I didn't want to go the middle class route. It's been tough but very enjoyable. Once I managed to earn a salary that was more than my age but I was living in SF and that 41K was like being a barrista elsewhere. Sometimes I manage to make middle class in spite of myself, which is ok... but it slips away again... which is ok.

It eventually puts you out of touch with most of your peers who can afford a lot of things and eventually start looking beyond you for not being able to afford the same things. It condemns you to living in large collections of equally poor people for the rest of your life: not a bad thing at all, because holiday parties can be huge. And it means probably no retirement (at least in the USA, I don't know what it means in Canada). It can mean debt unless you manage that well.

But you don't need to spend $300 a month on vitamins and more on a gym membership if you eat right. You can afford to eat right on most salaries if you manage that. if you get the right job you don't need the gym at all. If you don't get hung up on "I have to X" you can usually do what you want. And if you don't get hung up on "I have to X RIGHT NOW" you can *always* do what you want. Most of my friends earn way less and are worth way more to me.

It's got down points... I don't think i'm any less frustrated with things than my wealthier friends. I just don't have to deal with them as often (or so it seems to me).

I'm one of the only people I know that had the time to be Liz Taylor's body guard or to do coke with a 80s pop star or meet the Archbishop of Canterbury, chat will Allan Ginsberg, I always have the time to go see my family, no matter where I've lived. All because 9-5 doesn't matter that much. My only advice would be if you're going to avoid middle class as a lifestyle choice, make sure you find jobs that make you feel good about what you do. I have the joy of knowing I'm contributing something to society that is important and yet won't last... won't fill up and become surplus, won't become waste. And my clients generally hug me when they say goodbye.

"The only measure of your words and your deeds is the love you leave behind you when you're gone."

Maybe it sounds too idealistic, sorry. Not intended as advice so much as experience. It's worked for me.

[abearius.livejournal.com]

I will tell you a secret about insignificance, but only if you ask nice.

[nfotxn.livejournal.com]

May I please here your secret, he who loves the brussel sprout?

[abearius.livejournal.com]

Accept the fact that you are insignificant. It makes being fabulous so much more satisfying.