Gay! Gay! Gaaaaay!
Oct. 11th, 2007 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nfotxnOh goodness yes, it’s that time for our coming out stories!
My coming out was pretty simple. A few situations came together at once to ease my transition from unhappy closet case to rod-sucking newly minted bear gay. But I had to do it twice.
Far back in the day when my Weird Closet Case Step Dad was still around I told Mom that I had to have a Very Important Talk with her. It had been protocol in those days that if either my brother or I had an issue to talk with her about she’d treat us to oh-so-Hamiltonian Tim Horton’s coffee and Tim Bits.
There I was by the dash of Mom’s 1989 Toyota Corolla, extra large double double in hand and a pad of sugary sweet donuts I told her something really simple… in not so simple language 16-year-old language. I can remember it pretty clearly.
“I think, wait, I know that I think that I might be attracted to… you know… guys.”
The pause was pregnant with triplets. At this point I can reflect back and understand that Mom was really computing what her Weird Closet Case 2nd Husband was going to think about the situation. I’m lucky to have one of those I-Love-You-No-Matter-What Mom’s.
“Are you sure?”
Somewhat let down I tried to explain the mechanics to her like an awkward 16-year-old boy would.
“Well when I’m err, masturbating I think of you know guys and stuff. And I tried to use Brendan’s Penthouse and it doesn’t work [etc.]”
Thinking quickly Mom dodges and we come to the conclusion that I need to think more about it because I was only sixteen. I was sixteen with the internet and totally knew that I liked bears and I was totally pretty darn gay.
Flash forward two years. My Dad arrives back into my life (a whole other nutshell) and Weird Closet Case Step Dad takes it as his Pope Approved Get Out of Marriage Free card as he claims that, this is how crazy he is, my biological father was somehow “seeing” my Mom again.
We still laugh at this.
Failing the telling Mom I was gay and knowing well that I was mad for cock I derive a new exit strategy. I would hang out with my friend Ian (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
etherlad) a lot at the time. We were in similar lots in life, sorta confused and unsure where our lives were calling us. Until one evening walking down Harold St. in the west end after doing something deliciously gothy like looking for ghosts in the cemetery.
It was a lark really. I thought here’s this guy Ian who is totally chill and a bit of a weirdo like me… he’ll understand. I needed so badly by then to tell somebody, anybody and have them accept me. A testament to Ian’s coolness his response was something akin to:
“So?”
“So” indeed, to me it was like a cage of doves had been released in the still and quiet suburban night. I’m pretty sure I did gay pirouettes and formulated the schedule for telling all my Mom (again) and other friends.
From there I realized just how lucky I was to have the friends and family that I do. With Weird Closet Case Step Dad out of the picture Mom’s reaction was a bit more emotional and Mom-like. She told me that she only wanted me to be safe and happy. From there it was a lot easier for her to adjust. It took some time but we were fine. She has met all my boyfriends and enjoys when I have bears over to visit her.
There were some humorous instances like when I told my friend Brendan:
“Brendan, I have something really important to tell you.”
“Sure just as long as you’re not coming out of the closet or anything.”
“Well…”
I don’t think I’ve made anyone feel so bad in my life. He profusely apologized and we got coffee.
My favourite story is while remunerating with my biological father I had to come out to him as well. He’d already got wind of my gayness somehow. Probably the lack of girlfriends by 19. I scripted up my story and delivered the intro:
“Dad, in getting to know me there’s one important part of me you need to know. I’m gay”
“I know… so you’re a bear right?”
“Uh, Dad, how do you know about bears?”
Here I’m thinking that my Dad had been absent from my life because he was leading a secret life as a bear himself. Luckily we avoided that awkwardness and he informed me that working as a Merchant Marine what sort of gay guys would you expect do that line of work? My Dad has a few friends who are bear-identifying in London and they’d even taken him to the Kings Arms once.
My coming out was pretty simple. A few situations came together at once to ease my transition from unhappy closet case to rod-sucking newly minted bear gay. But I had to do it twice.
Far back in the day when my Weird Closet Case Step Dad was still around I told Mom that I had to have a Very Important Talk with her. It had been protocol in those days that if either my brother or I had an issue to talk with her about she’d treat us to oh-so-Hamiltonian Tim Horton’s coffee and Tim Bits.
There I was by the dash of Mom’s 1989 Toyota Corolla, extra large double double in hand and a pad of sugary sweet donuts I told her something really simple… in not so simple language 16-year-old language. I can remember it pretty clearly.
“I think, wait, I know that I think that I might be attracted to… you know… guys.”
The pause was pregnant with triplets. At this point I can reflect back and understand that Mom was really computing what her Weird Closet Case 2nd Husband was going to think about the situation. I’m lucky to have one of those I-Love-You-No-Matter-What Mom’s.
“Are you sure?”
Somewhat let down I tried to explain the mechanics to her like an awkward 16-year-old boy would.
“Well when I’m err, masturbating I think of you know guys and stuff. And I tried to use Brendan’s Penthouse and it doesn’t work [etc.]”
Thinking quickly Mom dodges and we come to the conclusion that I need to think more about it because I was only sixteen. I was sixteen with the internet and totally knew that I liked bears and I was totally pretty darn gay.
Flash forward two years. My Dad arrives back into my life (a whole other nutshell) and Weird Closet Case Step Dad takes it as his Pope Approved Get Out of Marriage Free card as he claims that, this is how crazy he is, my biological father was somehow “seeing” my Mom again.
We still laugh at this.
Failing the telling Mom I was gay and knowing well that I was mad for cock I derive a new exit strategy. I would hang out with my friend Ian (
etherlad) a lot at the time. We were in similar lots in life, sorta confused and unsure where our lives were calling us. Until one evening walking down Harold St. in the west end after doing something deliciously gothy like looking for ghosts in the cemetery. It was a lark really. I thought here’s this guy Ian who is totally chill and a bit of a weirdo like me… he’ll understand. I needed so badly by then to tell somebody, anybody and have them accept me. A testament to Ian’s coolness his response was something akin to:
“So?”
“So” indeed, to me it was like a cage of doves had been released in the still and quiet suburban night. I’m pretty sure I did gay pirouettes and formulated the schedule for telling all my Mom (again) and other friends.
From there I realized just how lucky I was to have the friends and family that I do. With Weird Closet Case Step Dad out of the picture Mom’s reaction was a bit more emotional and Mom-like. She told me that she only wanted me to be safe and happy. From there it was a lot easier for her to adjust. It took some time but we were fine. She has met all my boyfriends and enjoys when I have bears over to visit her.
There were some humorous instances like when I told my friend Brendan:
“Brendan, I have something really important to tell you.”
“Sure just as long as you’re not coming out of the closet or anything.”
“Well…”
I don’t think I’ve made anyone feel so bad in my life. He profusely apologized and we got coffee.
My favourite story is while remunerating with my biological father I had to come out to him as well. He’d already got wind of my gayness somehow. Probably the lack of girlfriends by 19. I scripted up my story and delivered the intro:
“Dad, in getting to know me there’s one important part of me you need to know. I’m gay”
“I know… so you’re a bear right?”
“Uh, Dad, how do you know about bears?”
Here I’m thinking that my Dad had been absent from my life because he was leading a secret life as a bear himself. Luckily we avoided that awkwardness and he informed me that working as a Merchant Marine what sort of gay guys would you expect do that line of work? My Dad has a few friends who are bear-identifying in London and they’d even taken him to the Kings Arms once.
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-11 09:14 pm (UTC)My reaction was more of an "oh... well, that certainly explains some things." But hey, my favourite aunt's a lesbian, and my immediate family's always been very open, so I guess it just wasn't that big a deal.
But yes, within half an hour as we were walking to the Hasty Market for snax0rs, you had described your plan for the next ten people you'd be telling. (:
I'm really happy to have been a part of that, and I'm sorry we don't get to hang out more.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-11 09:55 pm (UTC)Where you been?!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-11 11:35 pm (UTC)I love the stories with the happy endings.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-12 02:26 am (UTC)On the other hand, this post makes me feel wicked-guilty for being such a homophobe when I was in high-school.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-12 02:52 am (UTC)