CALL FOR SUBMISSION: Your Shitty Life

[nfotxn]

My ass remains unkissed nor adorned by rainbows. It's a self-esteem product really. This, you're reading it. Effortlessly idle and beautiful. Again, let me show you my good side. Avoid depth at all costs, nuances are messy. So we meet at this consumerist commons. An intersection of what did your buy? Where did you go? Who did you fuck and oh I like that or him or there too. Best friends forever.

I guess I'm just a humourless freak. Which is hardly true actually. I'm told I have a great sense of humour, of course by people I like. But I can be a little goth too. Actually I object to that word "goth" because it has Marilyn Manson baggage. Morose is a little more truthful. Very morose and interested in that stuff that isn't all unicorns flying out of your butthole while you explode into a being of pure light. I need to stop faking it. Maybe you do too? I feel more Jenna Jameson than Dolly Parton and that shit is tired. It's time to real it up and write about my shitty and real life. Maybe you could too?

Here, let me start.

Last night I went to a college party. I drank a whole bottle of Port wine and smoked lots of pot. It was a whole bunch of fun but my mouth runs off my face when I'm lit. I'm the sorta guy cabbies hate. LISTEN TO MY DRIVEL ABOUT LOCAL POLITICS! Like the cabby fucking cares. Really when I wake up after a night out on the piss that's the thing I feel most guilty about. I'm fine with annoying people at parties. And I don't even have to pay them. Funny that.

I woke up without a hang over and went to work for 2PM when a debt collector called me at work. Very humiliating. You see I had a grocery store credit card that I, well, sorta got cognitively dissonant about when I was supporting my former roommate. For some reason the gentleman, John from Canadian Debt Recovery, managed to guilt me into paying him. He made all those idle threats like taking me to court, which I would have preferred really because Judges are nice and listen to you. But I coughed up the money because I am living at home with my Mom and I have hundreds of dollars that aren't paying for Matt's hydro or subsidizing Doug's rent.

I'm more bitter and emo than I ever was at 22. I look at the overall arch of my life in the last 5-7 years and I think, hmm, maybe I am doing things out of order again? It's common for me. Maybe I need to be a pissy emo kid and cry and be clinically depressed? But I'm not getting dorky tattoos because that would just be unstoppably lame and 00s.

So, please, tell me about YOUR shitty life. Comments are fine but even better that you write your own entry.

Comments

[velnich.livejournal.com]

I wanna go to a college party, but I don't think I could make it work now. The whole "diving into the workforce" thing meant my age group got ditched and I've grown up the last 5-6 years with friends who, not always, but often/mostly had that many years or more on me age-wise. I don't remember it as being a bad time and I've come into what I'd call a happy place friend wise, but I still ponder what shit I missed skipping that whole wild/crazy college stage.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

You already read about my shitty life so I'll just kiss your ass and tell you you're hot and fun and jeezus mary of COURSE you're more bitter that's just accumulated cruft but gurl look what you have accomplished. And I have not the slightest doubt within a year you'll bounce back. Oh and just to egg on your not-a-goth mood I'm going to post a picture of blood.

[faghatesgods.livejournal.com]

People are all liars. Everyone is hateful. The world is falling apart and it's past the point of no return. Life is utterly pointless. Creativity is just a weak diversion from the fact that life is utterly pointless. I'm surrounded by addicts and denial and probably addicted and in denial myself. I don't really give a flying fuck about anyone. Not even you and your shitty life.

And yet, because I came to terms with all of this long ago, I'm constantly amused and pretty much happy.

fine

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

now write something else. Cuz we know all this already - the real and the made-up :-)

[jacked01.livejournal.com]

ok I made the post so hard to type about that subject and not sound like your mad

[pamira2.livejournal.com]

Suffice to say, my life is shitty.

I seem to be mired in a bout of protracted numbness.

And I hate my job. And have sadly come to the conclusion that I would hate *any* job.

gem bitch

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

DArling, this is a gem simply because you're 22 or close to it. Because only a 22 y-o or close to it can write something like this and comes across cute. For, those of us over 40 who still write this kind of thing are likely just sad and sorry assholes - as per the venerable John Waters, not moi!

So, you don't wanna hear about "my life is shitty" bitch session. Cuz it'd be just that - "bitch". Not cute, like you!

Swallow This.

[perlcub]

The only "Life" that's always fun is made by either Milton Bradley or General Mills. We can waste the time in our own iron cocoons longing for a time long past where the masses were more easily persuaded to follow one common goal, or we can be the change and make our own lives less shitty by taking that blasted Immodium-AD tablet. I'll choose the latter. Why bother wallowing in shit?

[bookbear.livejournal.com]

You're less Manson and more Peter Murphy.

Seriously, you wanna hear about my shitty life? I write about it in my own journal, but it gets spaced out over years, so I'll encapsulate it here. Ignore if you wish. But maybe reading it in one fell swoop will either scare the shit outta me, or energize me.

No, wait, you know what? I am gonna write it in my own journal. But Brodie, since you're getting me to do this, you better friggin' go read it! I'll do it before I lay me down to sleep.

[pxtl.livejournal.com]

Adulthood sucks.

[pizzapotcub.livejournal.com]

I have depression and anxiety issues that make it hard to leave the house or communicate with people. I haven't worked in 3 years and am financially dependent on my boyfriend (lodging) and parents (credit card bought groceries). I spend most of the day in solitude watching tv and and internetting. When my bf is home from work he's tired so we usually just sit around, and we don't have much of a budding social life. We live in the middle of nowhere. My therapist thinks Day Treatment is the best course of action to getting me going, but since I don't drive and (currently) my state-provided insurance doesn't cover transportation I'm out of luck. I've put off calling the number to inquire about altering my insurance for fear of sounding stupid on the phone and the radical change it would mean for my day.

And my breath has been stinky. So yeah, my life sucks.

[backrubbear.livejournal.com]

Go for it. I wish I would have gotten a lot of stuff out of my system while I was younger. ;-)